continued from here
After Master Windu left I carried Ekria up to her room, as I placed her in her bed. I smiled to myself. ‘This is going to be easy.’ I told myself as I walked out of the room.
As I sat down to do my reports for the day. In walked Anakin Skywalker, I raised my eyebrows. ‘He doesn’t come down here unless there’s a problem or he’s unwell.’ I told myself as I got up to help him.
Read here to see what happened to Anakin.
When I got back to my desk I found a note from Kriss.
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of it and the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag three people.
Well I was going to reach for my 5001 different ways to use a lightsaber in the ER but after reread note I grab for a book that has sat on my desk since I got it.
(Perry Rhodan - # 111 Seed of Ruin by William Voltz / # 112 Planet Mechanica by K.H. Scheer, a two in one book!)
Here is what might be achieved for humanity thru Cyclops. Of the billions of races that attempted interstellar communications since intelligent life first flowered in the Galaxy, many must have been successful. They probably pooled their knowledge and experience, their wisdom and their understanding of the universe, and passed this priceless heritage on to younger races that joined the community, just as we now educate our children. One of the requirements imposed on junior members might be to establish beacons to attract and then educate the upcoming intelligent races.
Then I sat there looked at the last part tag three people and thought to myself ‘Ok if I have to then I could tag Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Becca the Maginficant.’ But I thought about it some more, and came up with an idea.
Oh Kriss this is tag back, I will not tag three people until you do this, have fun!
Monday, August 21, 2006
Friday, August 18, 2006
Ekria
continued from here
My eyes snapped open to the sound of a younglings small cry of alarm.
“Ekria,” I called out “What are you doing here?” I asked as I spotted the child no more then two feet away from me.
“Mommy!?” questioningly asked the child.
“No Ekria,” I started to say then stopped myself.
My thoughts turned back to the day that I found her a year earlier, she had called out to me like she did now, I reminded myself as Ekria climbed into my lap. I closed my eyes as felt a pull at my heart.
This feels so right but I know it’s wrong as I held the child close to me.
I opened my eyes and looked down at Ekria as she fell asleep in my lap. As the door behind us opened and in walked Master Windu.
“Knight Offee,” Master Windu softly said.
“Yes Master,” I replied as I gently got up while holding on to Ekria as she slept.
“I see you found her.” stated Master Windu with a smiled as I pondered what he meant by that.
“More like she found me, Master.” I quietly stated as I slowly tried to bow in show of respect to the senior Master.
“Barriss, “ Master Windu slowly calmly stated“ The council has sent me here to talk to you about your upcoming knighthood and taking on Ekria on as your padawan learner.”
I was shocked at first, then smiled before saying “If the council believes that I’m ready then I’m happy to take Ekria as my padawan.”
“I will tell the council your answer as well as get you new Master/Padawan room set up in the next few weeks.“ Stated Master Windu as he nodded before turning to leave.
My mind raced as I watched Master Windu leave.
My eyes snapped open to the sound of a younglings small cry of alarm.
“Ekria,” I called out “What are you doing here?” I asked as I spotted the child no more then two feet away from me.
“Mommy!?” questioningly asked the child.
“No Ekria,” I started to say then stopped myself.
My thoughts turned back to the day that I found her a year earlier, she had called out to me like she did now, I reminded myself as Ekria climbed into my lap. I closed my eyes as felt a pull at my heart.
This feels so right but I know it’s wrong as I held the child close to me.
I opened my eyes and looked down at Ekria as she fell asleep in my lap. As the door behind us opened and in walked Master Windu.
“Knight Offee,” Master Windu softly said.
“Yes Master,” I replied as I gently got up while holding on to Ekria as she slept.
“I see you found her.” stated Master Windu with a smiled as I pondered what he meant by that.
“More like she found me, Master.” I quietly stated as I slowly tried to bow in show of respect to the senior Master.
“Barriss, “ Master Windu slowly calmly stated“ The council has sent me here to talk to you about your upcoming knighthood and taking on Ekria on as your padawan learner.”
I was shocked at first, then smiled before saying “If the council believes that I’m ready then I’m happy to take Ekria as my padawan.”
“I will tell the council your answer as well as get you new Master/Padawan room set up in the next few weeks.“ Stated Master Windu as he nodded before turning to leave.
My mind raced as I watched Master Windu leave.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Finding Kriss Part 5 End!
To read a different point of view go here and then
read this as well.
I sat there crying as I tried to come to terms with so many emotions at once and reminded myself, Jedi are not suppose to loose control of themselves like this. As I wiped away the last tracks of tears on my face, I looked at Erifia.
“We’re a mess?” I slowly said as I waited to see what she would say.
“Yes, but why?!” Erifia asked impatiently.
“You don’t remember what just happened in here?” I asked as I pondered about my hitting her I was causing her amnesia. Or if she really didn't remember what just happened.
“No, I don’t remember a thing… I know we were talking about your family, and then my mother, and then it was blank until you hit me…” Erifia said softly.
Nodded my head and waited for her to go on. What else can I do, I asked myself. I really didn’t feel like getting into another fight with her.
“Answer me! What happened?” Erifia asked as she sunk down up against the door. “Tell me what happened!”
I shook my head and said “Give me your hand Erifia.” I made up my mind I’d allow her to do a force-meld with me so that her could see the events for herself through the force. I won't hide the truth from her, I couldn't do that to a friend.
As she placed her hand in my I slowly allowed her mind to join with mine and showed her every thing that happened. Force knows she had every right to know what happened in here earlier.
“I deny it! Stop playing with my mind! I wouldn’t do such a thing!” she cried as I let go of her hand.
“Erifia, I’m not playing with your mind.” I slowly said as I let go of her hand.
“I deny it!” she yelled, “It never happened!” As her tears started to fall
“I didn’t do it…” She kept repeating, “It never happened… It couldn’t have happened.”
I hugged Erifia as I slowly thought what to tell her.
“What did I do?” She asked again, not remembering again, “Barriss, what’s wrong?”
I realized at once that something was very wrong but I didn’t want to scare Erifia.
“Erifia,” I slowly started to say as I think of what to do next. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I pondering if I should try a force clensing on her or wait till we were back in the temple to do so.
Erifia sighed and smiled as she gave me a tight hug.
“I was worried I had…” Erifia quietly said.
I hugged her back and worried thought how was I to deal with this and her at the same time.
“Thanks, You’re such a good friend. Go ahead and sleep on my bed, I’ll go sleep next to Tatooine tonight.” she said as she walked over the wall panel.
“Your welcome Erifia.” I said quietly as I shook my head “ I couldn’t sleep on your bed, it won’t be right.”
“Please do, I need to spend time with my baby anyway…” She said as matter of fact.
“Oh!” I surprising said.
“No, no dear, my tauntaun.” she quickly stated.
"You call your tauntaun.... a baby!?" I asked.
“Yes, he’s my baby… Tatooine the Tauntaun. He’s my little child. He’s a sweetie…” Erifia said loving.
“That’s sweet.” I said and thought back to all the times I could have really would have liked to have a pet.
With that she smiled and walled out of the room.
After Erifia left I sat on the floor pondering over the events that had happened over the last few hours. Then I wondered if I could talk Erifia into going back to the temple. “No,“ I said to myself “Not as long as Kriss is missing, I’m not giving up looking for her.” As if the need to hear my voice or just a voice of reason would make everything seem much clearer.
Hours passed as I weighted out all of my options, which weren’t many but when I finally made up my mind on what to do.
I must have fallen asleep because next thing I knew I woke up and Erifia is yelling “Barriss! Ani’s at the temple, and that’s where we are.”
I moaned and said “Good Morning to you too!” As I slowly started to sit up in her bed.
“Now, I want to give the boy a piece of my mind…” She said with her back to me and waited as I got up, put on my boats and found my skullcap and cloak on the back of the only chair in the room.
How odd that I don’t remember taking these items off as I reach to place my cloak in place.
I walked over to Erifia and while standing next to her said “Ok, I’m ready when you are.”
Erifia motioned for me to follow her as we walked off the the ship I looked at the group that waited for us to depart from the ship. My eyes sweep over the group of three (Master Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Kriss).
My eyes narrowed as I noticed Erifia motion for me to say something to Anakin. But the only thing I could do was yell “HOW COULD YOU!” and causing the group as a whole to all look at Anakin then myself and back.
Erifia looked at Ani and yelled “We were still searching!”
“Chill,” he said, “We couldn’t get your line.”
“Well, I found you,” Erifia said, “And I see you found her. Good. I’m glad. I saved you the trouble of having to find us, and if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go to my room in the temple and sleep. Hugs and Kisses.” Then rushed past the group with look back.I looked at the group and called out "Erifia, I'm coming with you." as I walked past the group and hurried to the spot that she stood waiting for me.
As I approached her, she looked at me and said“Look, I know you lied to me back on the ship. Something was up, and whatever it was, I lived it twice, and forgot it twice. Because there are big gaps in my memory, so I don’t care you were probably trying to protect me, but we are here now. Tell me so I can sort it out, okay?”
I looked at Erifia as I slowly nodded my head. “Yes, something did happen back on the ship. You may not care but I do. If it wasn’t for me being there, then you’d have done so real damage to yourself or to someone else."
Erifia looked over at me, “Sith Lightning?” I asked.
I looked at her and quietly ask “How do you know about that?” Oh no, is that all she remembers I asked myself as I waited for her to answer.
“Because, Aayla Secura used it on me. And I am more like her than I want to be,” Erifia leaned in and whispered, “I promised I wouldn’t tell and I won’t, but I need to do what I am about to do alone… Okay?”
“Erifia, I can understand that but there’s more to it then that.” I said.
“What?” asked Erifia as patiently as I hoped she could manage at the time.
I look at her and shake my head “No, what I have to say to you can wait.” I state quietly to myself then to her.
“Please Barriss…” Erifia I said softly, “I’ve very few friends. I don’t want to lose you because you are holding something inside.”
I felt trapped inside as I looked at Erifia, “We were talking about parents and for a few short minutes I thought I lost you. And I got mad, so mad that I hit you, Erifia. I’ve never hit anyone without reason before now. I …we… both lost control back there.” I quietly say as I lower my eyes to hide my shame.
“To be a healer, one doesn’t loss control like that. It’s unheard of.” I tell her.
Erifia pulled at my chin to get me to look at her as she leaned in and whispered, “I am a frustrating person. I deserve a good hit every now and again. I promised I wouldn’t tell, and I won’t. I need to go get better, up here…” she said as she pointed at her head.
Erifia hugged me, and before she left me. I then turned and walked to my favorite spot in the whole temple to meditate myself. It’s been a stressful few days, I tell myself as I watch a passing ship go by.
TBC-??
read this as well.
I sat there crying as I tried to come to terms with so many emotions at once and reminded myself, Jedi are not suppose to loose control of themselves like this. As I wiped away the last tracks of tears on my face, I looked at Erifia.
“We’re a mess?” I slowly said as I waited to see what she would say.
“Yes, but why?!” Erifia asked impatiently.
“You don’t remember what just happened in here?” I asked as I pondered about my hitting her I was causing her amnesia. Or if she really didn't remember what just happened.
“No, I don’t remember a thing… I know we were talking about your family, and then my mother, and then it was blank until you hit me…” Erifia said softly.
Nodded my head and waited for her to go on. What else can I do, I asked myself. I really didn’t feel like getting into another fight with her.
“Answer me! What happened?” Erifia asked as she sunk down up against the door. “Tell me what happened!”
I shook my head and said “Give me your hand Erifia.” I made up my mind I’d allow her to do a force-meld with me so that her could see the events for herself through the force. I won't hide the truth from her, I couldn't do that to a friend.
As she placed her hand in my I slowly allowed her mind to join with mine and showed her every thing that happened. Force knows she had every right to know what happened in here earlier.
“I deny it! Stop playing with my mind! I wouldn’t do such a thing!” she cried as I let go of her hand.
“Erifia, I’m not playing with your mind.” I slowly said as I let go of her hand.
“I deny it!” she yelled, “It never happened!” As her tears started to fall
“I didn’t do it…” She kept repeating, “It never happened… It couldn’t have happened.”
I hugged Erifia as I slowly thought what to tell her.
“What did I do?” She asked again, not remembering again, “Barriss, what’s wrong?”
I realized at once that something was very wrong but I didn’t want to scare Erifia.
“Erifia,” I slowly started to say as I think of what to do next. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I pondering if I should try a force clensing on her or wait till we were back in the temple to do so.
Erifia sighed and smiled as she gave me a tight hug.
“I was worried I had…” Erifia quietly said.
I hugged her back and worried thought how was I to deal with this and her at the same time.
“Thanks, You’re such a good friend. Go ahead and sleep on my bed, I’ll go sleep next to Tatooine tonight.” she said as she walked over the wall panel.
“Your welcome Erifia.” I said quietly as I shook my head “ I couldn’t sleep on your bed, it won’t be right.”
“Please do, I need to spend time with my baby anyway…” She said as matter of fact.
“Oh!” I surprising said.
“No, no dear, my tauntaun.” she quickly stated.
"You call your tauntaun.... a baby!?" I asked.
“Yes, he’s my baby… Tatooine the Tauntaun. He’s my little child. He’s a sweetie…” Erifia said loving.
“That’s sweet.” I said and thought back to all the times I could have really would have liked to have a pet.
With that she smiled and walled out of the room.
After Erifia left I sat on the floor pondering over the events that had happened over the last few hours. Then I wondered if I could talk Erifia into going back to the temple. “No,“ I said to myself “Not as long as Kriss is missing, I’m not giving up looking for her.” As if the need to hear my voice or just a voice of reason would make everything seem much clearer.
Hours passed as I weighted out all of my options, which weren’t many but when I finally made up my mind on what to do.
I must have fallen asleep because next thing I knew I woke up and Erifia is yelling “Barriss! Ani’s at the temple, and that’s where we are.”
I moaned and said “Good Morning to you too!” As I slowly started to sit up in her bed.
“Now, I want to give the boy a piece of my mind…” She said with her back to me and waited as I got up, put on my boats and found my skullcap and cloak on the back of the only chair in the room.
How odd that I don’t remember taking these items off as I reach to place my cloak in place.
I walked over to Erifia and while standing next to her said “Ok, I’m ready when you are.”
Erifia motioned for me to follow her as we walked off the the ship I looked at the group that waited for us to depart from the ship. My eyes sweep over the group of three (Master Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Kriss).
My eyes narrowed as I noticed Erifia motion for me to say something to Anakin. But the only thing I could do was yell “HOW COULD YOU!” and causing the group as a whole to all look at Anakin then myself and back.
Erifia looked at Ani and yelled “We were still searching!”
“Chill,” he said, “We couldn’t get your line.”
“Well, I found you,” Erifia said, “And I see you found her. Good. I’m glad. I saved you the trouble of having to find us, and if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go to my room in the temple and sleep. Hugs and Kisses.” Then rushed past the group with look back.I looked at the group and called out "Erifia, I'm coming with you." as I walked past the group and hurried to the spot that she stood waiting for me.
As I approached her, she looked at me and said“Look, I know you lied to me back on the ship. Something was up, and whatever it was, I lived it twice, and forgot it twice. Because there are big gaps in my memory, so I don’t care you were probably trying to protect me, but we are here now. Tell me so I can sort it out, okay?”
I looked at Erifia as I slowly nodded my head. “Yes, something did happen back on the ship. You may not care but I do. If it wasn’t for me being there, then you’d have done so real damage to yourself or to someone else."
Erifia looked over at me, “Sith Lightning?” I asked.
I looked at her and quietly ask “How do you know about that?” Oh no, is that all she remembers I asked myself as I waited for her to answer.
“Because, Aayla Secura used it on me. And I am more like her than I want to be,” Erifia leaned in and whispered, “I promised I wouldn’t tell and I won’t, but I need to do what I am about to do alone… Okay?”
“Erifia, I can understand that but there’s more to it then that.” I said.
“What?” asked Erifia as patiently as I hoped she could manage at the time.
I look at her and shake my head “No, what I have to say to you can wait.” I state quietly to myself then to her.
“Please Barriss…” Erifia I said softly, “I’ve very few friends. I don’t want to lose you because you are holding something inside.”
I felt trapped inside as I looked at Erifia, “We were talking about parents and for a few short minutes I thought I lost you. And I got mad, so mad that I hit you, Erifia. I’ve never hit anyone without reason before now. I …we… both lost control back there.” I quietly say as I lower my eyes to hide my shame.
“To be a healer, one doesn’t loss control like that. It’s unheard of.” I tell her.
Erifia pulled at my chin to get me to look at her as she leaned in and whispered, “I am a frustrating person. I deserve a good hit every now and again. I promised I wouldn’t tell, and I won’t. I need to go get better, up here…” she said as she pointed at her head.
Erifia hugged me, and before she left me. I then turned and walked to my favorite spot in the whole temple to meditate myself. It’s been a stressful few days, I tell myself as I watch a passing ship go by.
TBC-??
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Finding Kriss part 4 (well a back story, one may call it)
To read a different point of view go here
"Are you okay?" Asked Erifia as we entered her ship.
"I think so," I answered as started to pondered over the test results from before.
I looked over at Erifia and watched as her eyes lowered their icy barrier and let her concern show through, "Then why where you so quiet on the tripe over here?"
"I was," as I quickly wiped away a tear "running a small test."
"What do you mean by test?" she asked.
"A blood test," I started to say then thought better of it and added "I ran a DNA test against myself and someone else."
I saw a look of surprise in Erifia‘s eyes as she asked "Who?"
"The test showed that Master Luminara in fact my mother." I said almost silently to myself as tears fell silently down my face.
"Wait!" She said as the pieces clicked into place,"....so your master could be your mother?"
"There’s no could be about it, Erifia." I said as I wiped away the tears. "The test showed that she is in fact be my mother."
Erifia eyes went wide with surprise, then narrowed as she stated "Isn't that against the rules?" I stood there waiting for her to yell at me or at scream both how much against the rules it was. Instead she calmly said this "If so, I am so proud of her, and you."
Huh? Did I hear her right??? She’s proud of us? Is this the same Erifia, I have come to know and trust? My mind raced as I stood there and just stared at her.
After what felt like an hour pass by, Erifia quietly asked "Do you need a hug?"
I barely nodded my head yes when I felt Erifia’s arm wrap around me in a tight hug. My mind raced as I hugged her back. My only thoughts were the council is not going to be so happy if they hear about this.
"Are you going to be okay?" asked Erifia lightly as she rubbed my back.
"I don’t know, I think so." I said trying to calm my mind.
I heard Erifia lightly laugh as she asked "Want me to go and kill someone for you?"
I looked at my friend wondering if she was joking or if she was really willing to so for me. I lightly said "No!" I hope she’s joking, I told myself over and over again.
Erifia raised an eyebrow and asked "Are you sure?"
"Yes I’m sure." I said thinking maybe she’s not joking.
"Do you think Luminara will tell you about your father?" Erifia asked. I was upset that she‘d even ask such a thing without even thinking.
"I'm not sure she will, I'm sure she does want to talk about it, but you and I both know that the code does not allow for that sort of thing to happen." I answered as I thought why would she want to keep this a secret from the council in the first place.
"The code," Erifia said as she let out a simple hmph, "So why did it happen?"
"I don't know." I said as Erifia led my towards a room in her ship. As we entered I noticed that it was her bedroom.
Since we have never really talked much about her family I made up my mind and asked her “What's your father like?"
Erifia eyes narrowed as she said “He's the most miserable man in the entire galaxy. When I was a child he sent me away to the temple because I was a financial burden on him."
I could feel her pain, and hate. I didn‘t even think I just asked "You hate him for that, don't you?"
"Let's just say, I hate Aayla Secura more than anyone, but my father could quickly take her place," Erifia said quickly .
I worried wondered if that what I would have been ended up like that to if my father had done the same thing to me. Without even thinking, I asked "I wonder is my father would have done the same thing?"
"No, because of your mother," Erifia frankly stated.
My mind raced as she said that, was she so sure of that because her mother fought to keep her. I then asked her "What's your mother like?" I hoped that she would say that her mother had fought to keep her but instead I saw tears running down her face.
"She was the most beautiful woman in all the galaxy... She loved me so much she gave her own life to let mine come into the world... I would have been so different if she was alive, I'd never have become a Jedi, I'd have probably been a twi'lek dancing girl, like her..." Erifia sighed, and she wiped away any trace of tears. "I always get like this“ she started to say then she stopped crying and continued on to say .. “have a picture, its the only part of her I have..." As she handed the picture over to me.
.
I looked at the picture and thought if only she knew what it was like to have a master as a mother she‘d wouldn‘t be so and without even thinking I mindless said "It must be hard to know that I've had all this time with my mother and you only got a picture..." …oh why did I say that? I cried out in my mind. That was almost childlike Barriss! I told myself over and over again.
I stared at Erifia as she clenched her hands into fist. Oh, no! I thought to myself, she’s going to hit me for saying that.
"And? And what? You're master is still alive... You were going to say that too?" Erifai screamed, "Weren't you?"
I stepped away from Erifia and watched as she brought her hand up a side the wall. I just stood there, waited to see if she would say anything more. When she s sat down on the bed and scooted over to a far corner and curled up into a ball. I felt my heart sink to my feet as I thought to myself, way to go.. you just lost yourself a good friend.
I knew that I had done wrong and there’s not point in hiding it. I could feel my anger get the better of me. As I waited I told myself, if she going to hit me let her. Then I felt myself break apart in the inside.
I then walked over stomping my feet as I went over to her. I could feel myself getting madder by the second.
“ERIFIA!”I yelled as my face got red with anger.
“ERIFIA!” I yelled again and without thinking I hit her hard on the side of the face. “IF YOU THINK HAVING MY MOTHER FOR A MASTER WAS A WONDERFUL… YOUR WRONG!”
Next thing I knew my knees gave out and I was on the floor crying.. "Erifia, she wasn't loving....her only real concern was that I'd make it to Jedi Knighthood....does that sound like a mother to you?" I cried as everything came out. All the years, of being her padawan and all the times I had received punishment for small things that I did wrong.
“Barriss?” Erifia asked, “Why are you crying?”
I could barely hear Erifia talking, but between my sobbing I could only make out that she was saying something but what?
My mind raced as I tried to find out what she said. But the only thoughts that were going through my mind was, she’s mad at me! My body started to violently shake as the words started to sink in. Over and over again my mind kept on repeating she’s mad at me.
I tried to calm my mind and stop my body from shaking but the more I tried the more violently my body was shaking .
“Barriss, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” I could hear how worried Erifia was but when I didn’t answer her. She asked again, “Barriss, what’s wrong?”
I tried to find my voice but all I could do was ball my hand into fist and started to stuttering “I………..hit…….you……” I could feel my face getting red with shame as I continued “broke….healers code …………………sorry.” I couldn’t look her in the eyes when I said I was sorry.
“Barriss… Tell me what I did to warrant the hit… Please? I’ll never tell anyone. I promise…” Erifia quietly asked as she slowly rubbed my back.
(TBC - To Be Continued)
"Are you okay?" Asked Erifia as we entered her ship.
"I think so," I answered as started to pondered over the test results from before.
I looked over at Erifia and watched as her eyes lowered their icy barrier and let her concern show through, "Then why where you so quiet on the tripe over here?"
"I was," as I quickly wiped away a tear "running a small test."
"What do you mean by test?" she asked.
"A blood test," I started to say then thought better of it and added "I ran a DNA test against myself and someone else."
I saw a look of surprise in Erifia‘s eyes as she asked "Who?"
"The test showed that Master Luminara in fact my mother." I said almost silently to myself as tears fell silently down my face.
"Wait!" She said as the pieces clicked into place,"....so your master could be your mother?"
"There’s no could be about it, Erifia." I said as I wiped away the tears. "The test showed that she is in fact be my mother."
Erifia eyes went wide with surprise, then narrowed as she stated "Isn't that against the rules?" I stood there waiting for her to yell at me or at scream both how much against the rules it was. Instead she calmly said this "If so, I am so proud of her, and you."
Huh? Did I hear her right??? She’s proud of us? Is this the same Erifia, I have come to know and trust? My mind raced as I stood there and just stared at her.
After what felt like an hour pass by, Erifia quietly asked "Do you need a hug?"
I barely nodded my head yes when I felt Erifia’s arm wrap around me in a tight hug. My mind raced as I hugged her back. My only thoughts were the council is not going to be so happy if they hear about this.
"Are you going to be okay?" asked Erifia lightly as she rubbed my back.
"I don’t know, I think so." I said trying to calm my mind.
I heard Erifia lightly laugh as she asked "Want me to go and kill someone for you?"
I looked at my friend wondering if she was joking or if she was really willing to so for me. I lightly said "No!" I hope she’s joking, I told myself over and over again.
Erifia raised an eyebrow and asked "Are you sure?"
"Yes I’m sure." I said thinking maybe she’s not joking.
"Do you think Luminara will tell you about your father?" Erifia asked. I was upset that she‘d even ask such a thing without even thinking.
"I'm not sure she will, I'm sure she does want to talk about it, but you and I both know that the code does not allow for that sort of thing to happen." I answered as I thought why would she want to keep this a secret from the council in the first place.
"The code," Erifia said as she let out a simple hmph, "So why did it happen?"
"I don't know." I said as Erifia led my towards a room in her ship. As we entered I noticed that it was her bedroom.
Since we have never really talked much about her family I made up my mind and asked her “What's your father like?"
Erifia eyes narrowed as she said “He's the most miserable man in the entire galaxy. When I was a child he sent me away to the temple because I was a financial burden on him."
I could feel her pain, and hate. I didn‘t even think I just asked "You hate him for that, don't you?"
"Let's just say, I hate Aayla Secura more than anyone, but my father could quickly take her place," Erifia said quickly .
I worried wondered if that what I would have been ended up like that to if my father had done the same thing to me. Without even thinking, I asked "I wonder is my father would have done the same thing?"
"No, because of your mother," Erifia frankly stated.
My mind raced as she said that, was she so sure of that because her mother fought to keep her. I then asked her "What's your mother like?" I hoped that she would say that her mother had fought to keep her but instead I saw tears running down her face.
"She was the most beautiful woman in all the galaxy... She loved me so much she gave her own life to let mine come into the world... I would have been so different if she was alive, I'd never have become a Jedi, I'd have probably been a twi'lek dancing girl, like her..." Erifia sighed, and she wiped away any trace of tears. "I always get like this“ she started to say then she stopped crying and continued on to say .. “have a picture, its the only part of her I have..." As she handed the picture over to me.
.
I looked at the picture and thought if only she knew what it was like to have a master as a mother she‘d wouldn‘t be so and without even thinking I mindless said "It must be hard to know that I've had all this time with my mother and you only got a picture..." …oh why did I say that? I cried out in my mind. That was almost childlike Barriss! I told myself over and over again.
I stared at Erifia as she clenched her hands into fist. Oh, no! I thought to myself, she’s going to hit me for saying that.
"And? And what? You're master is still alive... You were going to say that too?" Erifai screamed, "Weren't you?"
I stepped away from Erifia and watched as she brought her hand up a side the wall. I just stood there, waited to see if she would say anything more. When she s sat down on the bed and scooted over to a far corner and curled up into a ball. I felt my heart sink to my feet as I thought to myself, way to go.. you just lost yourself a good friend.
I knew that I had done wrong and there’s not point in hiding it. I could feel my anger get the better of me. As I waited I told myself, if she going to hit me let her. Then I felt myself break apart in the inside.
I then walked over stomping my feet as I went over to her. I could feel myself getting madder by the second.
“ERIFIA!”I yelled as my face got red with anger.
“ERIFIA!” I yelled again and without thinking I hit her hard on the side of the face. “IF YOU THINK HAVING MY MOTHER FOR A MASTER WAS A WONDERFUL… YOUR WRONG!”
Next thing I knew my knees gave out and I was on the floor crying.. "Erifia, she wasn't loving....her only real concern was that I'd make it to Jedi Knighthood....does that sound like a mother to you?" I cried as everything came out. All the years, of being her padawan and all the times I had received punishment for small things that I did wrong.
“Barriss?” Erifia asked, “Why are you crying?”
I could barely hear Erifia talking, but between my sobbing I could only make out that she was saying something but what?
My mind raced as I tried to find out what she said. But the only thoughts that were going through my mind was, she’s mad at me! My body started to violently shake as the words started to sink in. Over and over again my mind kept on repeating she’s mad at me.
I tried to calm my mind and stop my body from shaking but the more I tried the more violently my body was shaking .
“Barriss, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” I could hear how worried Erifia was but when I didn’t answer her. She asked again, “Barriss, what’s wrong?”
I tried to find my voice but all I could do was ball my hand into fist and started to stuttering “I………..hit…….you……” I could feel my face getting red with shame as I continued “broke….healers code …………………sorry.” I couldn’t look her in the eyes when I said I was sorry.
“Barriss… Tell me what I did to warrant the hit… Please? I’ll never tell anyone. I promise…” Erifia quietly asked as she slowly rubbed my back.
(TBC - To Be Continued)
Thursday, August 03, 2006
A little down time
| Your Theme Song is Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd |
 "There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship's smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves." You haven't been feeling a lot lately, and you think that's a good thing. The comfortable part is nice... but you should really work on numb. |
Jaba, did you send another bounty hunter after me? If so, could you please pay them off asap. Thanks!
As for the rest of you.. my story will continue soon as I'm able to type it all out.
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