To read a different point of view go here and then
read this as well.
I sat there crying as I tried to come to terms with so many emotions at once and reminded myself, Jedi are not suppose to loose control of themselves like this. As I wiped away the last tracks of tears on my face, I looked at Erifia.
“We’re a mess?” I slowly said as I waited to see what she would say.
“Yes, but why?!” Erifia asked impatiently.
“You don’t remember what just happened in here?” I asked as I pondered about my hitting her I was causing her amnesia. Or if she really didn't remember what just happened.
“No, I don’t remember a thing… I know we were talking about your family, and then my mother, and then it was blank until you hit me…” Erifia said softly.
Nodded my head and waited for her to go on. What else can I do, I asked myself. I really didn’t feel like getting into another fight with her.
“Answer me! What happened?” Erifia asked as she sunk down up against the door. “Tell me what happened!”
I shook my head and said “Give me your hand Erifia.” I made up my mind I’d allow her to do a force-meld with me so that her could see the events for herself through the force. I won't hide the truth from her, I couldn't do that to a friend.
As she placed her hand in my I slowly allowed her mind to join with mine and showed her every thing that happened. Force knows she had every right to know what happened in here earlier.
“I deny it! Stop playing with my mind! I wouldn’t do such a thing!” she cried as I let go of her hand.
“Erifia, I’m not playing with your mind.” I slowly said as I let go of her hand.
“I deny it!” she yelled, “It never happened!” As her tears started to fall
“I didn’t do it…” She kept repeating, “It never happened… It couldn’t have happened.”
I hugged Erifia as I slowly thought what to tell her.
“What did I do?” She asked again, not remembering again, “Barriss, what’s wrong?”
I realized at once that something was very wrong but I didn’t want to scare Erifia.
“Erifia,” I slowly started to say as I think of what to do next. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I pondering if I should try a force clensing on her or wait till we were back in the temple to do so.
Erifia sighed and smiled as she gave me a tight hug.
“I was worried I had…” Erifia quietly said.
I hugged her back and worried thought how was I to deal with this and her at the same time.
“Thanks, You’re such a good friend. Go ahead and sleep on my bed, I’ll go sleep next to Tatooine tonight.” she said as she walked over the wall panel.
“Your welcome Erifia.” I said quietly as I shook my head “ I couldn’t sleep on your bed, it won’t be right.”
“Please do, I need to spend time with my baby anyway…” She said as matter of fact.
“Oh!” I surprising said.
“No, no dear, my tauntaun.” she quickly stated.
"You call your tauntaun.... a baby!?" I asked.
“Yes, he’s my baby… Tatooine the Tauntaun. He’s my little child. He’s a sweetie…” Erifia said loving.
“That’s sweet.” I said and thought back to all the times I could have really would have liked to have a pet.
With that she smiled and walled out of the room.
After Erifia left I sat on the floor pondering over the events that had happened over the last few hours. Then I wondered if I could talk Erifia into going back to the temple. “No,“ I said to myself “Not as long as Kriss is missing, I’m not giving up looking for her.” As if the need to hear my voice or just a voice of reason would make everything seem much clearer.
Hours passed as I weighted out all of my options, which weren’t many but when I finally made up my mind on what to do.
I must have fallen asleep because next thing I knew I woke up and Erifia is yelling “Barriss! Ani’s at the temple, and that’s where we are.”
I moaned and said “Good Morning to you too!” As I slowly started to sit up in her bed.
“Now, I want to give the boy a piece of my mind…” She said with her back to me and waited as I got up, put on my boats and found my skullcap and cloak on the back of the only chair in the room.
How odd that I don’t remember taking these items off as I reach to place my cloak in place.
I walked over to Erifia and while standing next to her said “Ok, I’m ready when you are.”
Erifia motioned for me to follow her as we walked off the the ship I looked at the group that waited for us to depart from the ship. My eyes sweep over the group of three (Master Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Kriss).
My eyes narrowed as I noticed Erifia motion for me to say something to Anakin. But the only thing I could do was yell “HOW COULD YOU!” and causing the group as a whole to all look at Anakin then myself and back.
Erifia looked at Ani and yelled “We were still searching!”
“Chill,” he said, “We couldn’t get your line.”
“Well, I found you,” Erifia said, “And I see you found her. Good. I’m glad. I saved you the trouble of having to find us, and if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go to my room in the temple and sleep. Hugs and Kisses.” Then rushed past the group with look back.I looked at the group and called out "Erifia, I'm coming with you." as I walked past the group and hurried to the spot that she stood waiting for me.
As I approached her, she looked at me and said“Look, I know you lied to me back on the ship. Something was up, and whatever it was, I lived it twice, and forgot it twice. Because there are big gaps in my memory, so I don’t care you were probably trying to protect me, but we are here now. Tell me so I can sort it out, okay?”
I looked at Erifia as I slowly nodded my head. “Yes, something did happen back on the ship. You may not care but I do. If it wasn’t for me being there, then you’d have done so real damage to yourself or to someone else."
Erifia looked over at me, “Sith Lightning?” I asked.
I looked at her and quietly ask “How do you know about that?” Oh no, is that all she remembers I asked myself as I waited for her to answer.
“Because, Aayla Secura used it on me. And I am more like her than I want to be,” Erifia leaned in and whispered, “I promised I wouldn’t tell and I won’t, but I need to do what I am about to do alone… Okay?”
“Erifia, I can understand that but there’s more to it then that.” I said.
“What?” asked Erifia as patiently as I hoped she could manage at the time.
I look at her and shake my head “No, what I have to say to you can wait.” I state quietly to myself then to her.
“Please Barriss…” Erifia I said softly, “I’ve very few friends. I don’t want to lose you because you are holding something inside.”
I felt trapped inside as I looked at Erifia, “We were talking about parents and for a few short minutes I thought I lost you. And I got mad, so mad that I hit you, Erifia. I’ve never hit anyone without reason before now. I …we… both lost control back there.” I quietly say as I lower my eyes to hide my shame.
“To be a healer, one doesn’t loss control like that. It’s unheard of.” I tell her.
Erifia pulled at my chin to get me to look at her as she leaned in and whispered, “I am a frustrating person. I deserve a good hit every now and again. I promised I wouldn’t tell, and I won’t. I need to go get better, up here…” she said as she pointed at her head.
Erifia hugged me, and before she left me. I then turned and walked to my favorite spot in the whole temple to meditate myself. It’s been a stressful few days, I tell myself as I watch a passing ship go by.
TBC-??
