Part 4 - The Truth (sort of!)

While I was thinking over what I had read in my own medical chart, I gently and slowly brought my knees to my chest, and wrapped my arms around my legs, so it would appeared to anyone who was looking in as thought I was curling myself up into a ball.

Then, I placed my chin on my knees, as I started working myself into a meditative state. My eyes, for the most part, I allowed to become unfocused as I started to slow my breathing down. Slowly in and slowly out.

Mostly I stayed curled up and was meditaiting for several hours.

I didn't hear the door the open, or that my Master Luminara Unduli was standing at side of my bed looking at directly at me with questioning look on her face.

"Barriss, are you alright?" My master softly asked.

"Go away" I screaming throu the force.

"Barriss, I will not go away!" My master sternly said.

As if by the will of the force or an old memory that never truely was washed away by time, I saw myself as a very small child (maybe a year or a little older) being held by a much younger Master Luminara Unduli only I was calling her ma ma.

Tears fell gently from my eyes as I softly said "Mother!"

Then I slowly turned my face towards my master, I noticed that shook and horror written all over on her face.

"Barriss!" My master said with great disbelieve. "What did you just call me?"

I realised my mistake at once "I'm sorry Master." I said with much distress. (But was I mistaken?)

Had I just seen the past, and now know do I know the truth? Was my master reaction enough to tell me the truth? Is she really my mother? I asked myself over and over as we just sat there staring at each other.

Tears filled my eyes until I couldn't see.

"Barriss, what is it? What's wrong?" My master softly yet worried asked. My master must have noticed that I was on that nearly to the point of tears.

"Master, are you my mother?" I said as my voice cracked with sobs.

At first I thought my master was going to refuse telling me, but then I noticed a small beacon of hope shining in her eyes like stars the first appear at night. As a single tear roled down my master face, she gently and lightly said "Yes Barriss, I am your mother." And then she gently hugged me.

I couldn't stop the tears of joy and sorrow from flowing down my face.

Just as I started to say something to my master, the door to my room opened and in walked a uniformed officer of the Republic marched in and annunced that "Ma'am, we're entering Kashyyk system."

"Thank you Private." My master said in an offical tone. Then without saying another word the private turned on his heels and left my room.

"Master, why are we stopping at Kashyyk system?" I gently asked. At that exact moment looking into my master eyes was like looking into two blue pools of water without a bottom.

"Master!?" I worried asked. Then I felt a disturbance in the force, it was almost like someone had taken a cold metal sword and driven it through my body like waves crashing on the shore. Bringing with it the feelings of regret, fear, dread, anger, anxiety, and sadness.

"Barriss, we're going to Kashyyk system because of a holo-beacon from Commando Rage that that we recieved a few hours ago." My master stated with a light sigh. I nodded as I reflectived on the disturbance in the force and then allowed the information pour like a waterfall from my master and waited for her to continue.

Then Master Luminara gentlely said" Barriss, from what I have been told Dr. Divini is taking care of your patients at the temple." Uli! My thoughts swayed away from what my master was saying to he'll never make it as one who has to work in an office. But then again maybe he could.

"I must go now and see to the landing party." my master said with sad look in her eyes. "While I'm gone, you may want to take the time to rest until I return."

(TBC) Sorry for the delay.