Yell! I'll Yell!

Read these first so your not lost
Part 7
Part 8
part 9
part 10
This is story is now part of a cross over with Erifia Apoc read her part of the story here on her blog.



I just glared at Erifia but didn't say a word as I waited for her to go on. My mind raced as I remembered that fear was the path to dark side.

"Barriss. I cannot teach you more until you are willing to learn. Do you want to hear what I have to say?" Erifia stated as she waited for my answer.

'Willing to learn!?!?!? But I’ve always been willing to learn. But lately it feels like I should I've been lied to by everyone.' I told myself as I flatly said "Yes, I like to hear what you have to say."

"You have to let yourself feel these things. If you don't, you'll build up and want to kill everyone you care for. See what's it done to you? You've contained resentment for Lumaniara and now it is hurting you." She said as if that was the only thing that matter at all.

I narrowed my eyes as she said Master Luminara's name. 'How would she know that?' I asked myself and then then I reminded myself that she too is a Jedi before thinking 'And what right did she have getting inside my mind?' as I thought over what to really say to her.

"I don’t know how to let myself feel those things, Erifia." I slowly stated as tears streamed down my face due to the truth behind of her words.

"I can teach you," Erifia stated as she squeezed my shoulder softly.

"But would you take me on, knowing that I want kill you." I asked as I reached up and grabbed her hand to make sure she really was here with me. Well, not another force ghost like Master Qui-Gon back in the temple.

“Eh… That’s no big deal. Everyone wants to kill me, why not you too?” she stated as if that didn’t matter to her one way or another.

My mind raced as her words fell down around my feet and mixing with my tears. “No, Master!” I flatly stated “That’s not the way it should be.” As I waited and wondered what was she really was thinking.

"Let's start with this, I am ordering you to yell at me knight. Hit me if you want. I want you to yell and yell, yell at me about all the things I've done to you." she stated as she waited for me to do what she ordered.

I looked at Erifia waiting for her to laugh, then I realized that she wasn't kidding. I slowly said "I don’t yell much and why would I yell at you?"

My mind screamed as I thought 'Erifia if I hit you, I could and possible will kill you!'

"Because I ordered you to, knight," Erifia said in an almost demeaning way.

'Is she reading my thoughts?' I asked myself as I yelled "I'M NOT A KNIGHT, I'M STILL A PADAWAN!" while thinking if this is what she wants then she'll get it. Then without thinking I reached into my skull cape, grabbed behind my right ear and pulled my padawan braid and showed it to Erifia while yelling. "SEE THIS!?!? UNTIL THE COUNCIL REMOVES THIS I'M STILL A PADAWAN."

"Oh, that's right," Erifia said, "You're just a useless padawan."

"EVEN THOUGH I AM A PADAWAN, I'M NOT USELESS." I yelled directly at her. As mad as I was I was more mad at myelf for yelling at her then at her for making me yell.

"Prove it, Padawan. Yell at me! Useless jedi. What have you done?" She stated as she waited for me do as she asked.

"I'VE LEARNED TO BE A JEDI HEALER." I yelled back.

"Yet you hit me? You want to kill me," she said as she sat up, and then pushed my shoulder while asking. "What kind of a healer are you?"

My mind raced as she pushed me, 'What does she think she going to prove by pushing me.' I asked myself as I held myself in check.